"I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens."

"I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia."

"The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep."

"I tended to place my wife under a pedestal."

"Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach. Those who can't teach, teach gym."

"Whosover loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird."

"Aggression unchallenged is aggression unleashed."

"It's the opinion of some that crops could be grown on the moon. Which raises the fear that it may not be long before we're paying somebody not to."

"Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin."

"Everytime a child says 'I don't believe in fairies' there is a little fairy somewhere that falls down dead."

"One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set the night before."

"Sometimes when reading Goethe I have a paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny."